Marriage and Hell Part II

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." (Mark 8:34)

[I will be intermingling our vacation in Spain and this series. Wish I had more consistent time to blog, but this is what you get!]

Thoughts that come to this title: first years of marriage...tears...stomach cramps...yelling and screaming. Yes, that was Mikko and I. This included emotional and physical pain. Keep in mind I had yet to have counseling from my past. We are believers in Christ, yes...

Bad habbits of ours: Mikko would bring up issues at 10 p.m., as a result I would cry because of my longing to sleep, he would just lay there with his light on and stare with a look of expecting me to know what was on his mind. Quite annoying...

Me? Crying myself out of the situation. I felt he was the enemy quite often. I had irrational ways of explaining my emotions. He often had answers that proved he was right, which left me helpless to explain my heart or reasoning.

Now if you told me then the above verse from Mark then, I would tend toward a rebelious spirit. Because afterall, Mikko was the enemy, why would I humble myself and serve him? Yeah Yeah, Christ died for me and I will serve Him in anyway except helping my husband...

This year's yearly meeting, which is now called a fram, was truly encouraging and am grateful to God what he has done in our marriage. Mikko and I understood more that, "Our life is not our own." in a truly healthy way. That reference was made toward family and parenting, but we agreed more specifically our marriage too. We now both want to help each other acheive our highest potential for how God has wired us.

Before marriage we were warned of the divorce rate several times. I remember the people who mentored us on this: Rick York, Pastor Matt Brown, and our marriage counselor, Roy Ronveaux. One of them told us their goal was to make sure we didn't get married! Just talked to a friend and she remembered in her couples group how the shared the divorce stats quite clearly. She said that three couples in that group have already divorced! Our first small group, whom we dearly treasure and love today, are having similar results.

I was telling Mikko how I wished more was explained about how Christ loved his church and gave his life for them. Jesus was and is truly committed to his followers. He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He is for you believer. That is why I don't know how some couples do it without Christ. Sad thing is, believers are divorcing too. Frustrating. "I am not in love anymore." "I don't want to be married anymore." This paragraph is difficult to write, because life can be really messy. I know.

There was alot more that happened in those first years of marriage. Like my tendency to hide food which lead to my bulemia while living in Finland 2001-2002. I was also ill equipped to communicate. What seemed like Mikko wanting to argue, was really more his way of wanting to challenge me and be more intimate with me (the way he is wired). More on this in the next post. If you have questions please feel free to ask!